I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
