How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
