nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
