I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
