yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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