If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize