so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
