I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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