"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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