My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
