Betty ford says i'm here all night
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
