Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
