Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
