I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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