I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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