Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
