coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
