Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
