He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
