I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
