I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
