if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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