I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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