David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
