my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize