i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
