he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
