omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
