So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
