He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
