Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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