ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You pole danced in your parka.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
