why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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