spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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