There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Randomize
