wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
