He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
