Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
