Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize