why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
