You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
