Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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