another moral hangover. fuck.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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