Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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