My first STD was from a foam party
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
