He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
