Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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