in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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