Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I will be naked everywhere
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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