bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
