Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
