He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
