Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
