accomplished twins. life is a go
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
