Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
