So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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