He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
