i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize